Covenant
Marriage vs. Contract Marriage
This week in my
marriage class we discovered some key differences between a covenant marriage
and a contract marriage. In a covenant marriage, each partner gives 100%...no
less. In a contract marriage, each partner is only expected to give 50%...no
more.
MY TEMPLE MARRIAGE
My marriage began as
a covenant marriage nearly 23 years ago in the LDS Los Angeles temple. One of
the ways that my husband and I ensured this type of marriage began even before
our actual wedding. While we were dating, we practiced giving 100% on both
ends. It wasn't always easy and did not come to either of us right away. One of
the greatest tests of our relationship occurred when he served a 2 year mission
for the Lord after about a year and a half of dating. We wrote faithfully to
one another and really got to know each other better through our letters. We
discussed our individual and collective hopes, dreams, goals, and ambitions and
decided then and there that we would always put the Lord first in our lives...even
if we didn't end up getting married to one another.
Once he returned home
and we became engaged (3 years later, I might add - unheard of, right?), practicing selflessness and
patience, we managed to lay a sure foundation for our future marriage during those
courting years. We compromised during the planning of our wedding; supported
one another in our personal ambitions and career goals; and, together, made
goals for our future family that would involve and require personal compromises
as well. We planned to be married and sealed for time and all eternity in the
temple of the Lord and nowhere else. And we were, exactly a year later. Since that
time, we have continued to keep these concepts and principles a part of our daily practice. We still
have to work at it quite a bit, but it comes much more naturally now.
RENEWING COVENANTS
One of the best ways
to renew covenants in a marriage is to attend the temple regularly. I am not aware of too many couples who are married outside of the temple who regularly revisit the
place where they were bound as husband and wife to renew their promises to one
another. That is so special to me. It definitely strengthens our bond and
ensures a covenant marriage.
DOWNFALLS OF CONTRACT MARRIAGE
One of the downfalls
of today’s contract marriage is the idea that it is only for time. And today,
that usually means a very short time. Elder Bruce C. Hafen
discussed some of the pitfalls that Satan has managed to slyly introduce into
contract marriages in a wonderful article on “Covenant Marriage.” He taught
that marriage partners are prone to fall victim to natural adversity, personal
imperfections, and individualism. These are concepts that are accepted and
expected within worldly relationships. Covenant marriages are devoid of these
issues when each spouse gives 100% and introduces prayer, scripture study, and
gospel principles into the marriage.
One of the worst
ways, in my opinion, to doom a marriage from the very beginning is to enter
into it with a prenuptial agreement. That is most-definitely a contract
marriage. A covenant marriage, like my own, begins with the idea that this is
an unbreakable, impenetrable, and binding contract of promises made between
husband, wife, and the Lord.
To learn more about
covenant marriage, please visit LDS.ORG and search for key words, TEMPLE
MARRIAGE or COVENANT MARRIAGE.
Link to Elder Hafen’s
article:
No comments:
Post a Comment