SEXUAL STEWARDSHIP 

in MARRIAGE

 

When the Lord unites a couple in marriage, just as Adam and Eve were united in the Garden of Eden, each is given stewardship over the marriage as eternal partners with certain individual expectations. Temporal and emotional stewardship is primarily what we think of when we imagine each person's role for ensuring a successful marriage. However, I realized this week that we have a "sexual stewardship" over our spouse as well. Brother Sean. E. Brotherson wrote an excellent article on "Fulfilling the Sexual Stewardship in Marriage" in which he explains how we should view sex in a marriage from the onset. He warns of three moral danger zones that are directly related to sexual expression and that most marriages fall victim to at one point or another. Most people falsely believe that marriage is its own "school of love" or "school of hard knocks," to be more precise, and that sexual responsibility simply must be learned along the way. Brother Brotherson described ignorance, inhibition, and Ill Will as three of the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse for sexual fulfillment" along with the three elements that characterize successful stewardship. They are agency, diligence, and accountability. Sexual satisfaction in a marriage is just as important (and perhaps more-so) as the far more openly discussed aspects to making marriage work.

 

IGNORANCE:

 

President Kimball has mentioned that the challenge of ignorance in a marriage is often a "silent wound" and, according to Bro. Brotherson, is perhaps "the most costly deficiency when it comes to sexual fulfillment between marital partners." We are admonished by our church leaders and by the Lord to seek further knowledge in all things. God himself is not vague in communicating our sexual stewardship through the scriptures, so we need to explore this powerful symbol that helps define a good marriage. We have our agency and "are expected to improve or enhance what we have been given," according to Dr. Brent Barlow, professor of family life at BYU.

 

INHIBITION:

 

Inhibition is the second challenge to sexual fulfillment in marriage. There are so many myths and beliefs that are circulated among couples once they become engaged. The Christian society is wrought with false ideas that sex is a dirty word and that sexual relations are, for some reason, unholy or are used for unholy purposes. We need to be diligent in seeking the truth of all things. Quite the contrary, our divine Maker has intended this strong attraction for holy impulses and for holy purposes beyond that of procreation. We should abandon the idea that these preconceived inhibitions should determine the satisfaction of our marriage. 

 

 

ILL WILL:

 

Ill Will is the third, and perhaps worst, danger to the emotional climate of a marriage. A marriage is doomed if these thoughts and emotions are not eliminated from the marriage and kept in check. It can be a real deal-breaker for some marriages. The scriptures can help us maintain a positive emotional environment in our marriage and help us to become accountable for our actions within the marriage. This is the part that interested me the most because my husband and I suffer from this when things get busy and we don't have much time to spend together. This time of the year is often the worst because I am off on school break (for work) and he is a Fire Marshal during the 4th of July period. It is one of his busiest times and one of my least busy times, so we often have misunderstandings...especially on my part. 

 

 

PERSONAL THOUGHTS:

 

I love the articles that we read this week in class because they couldn't have come at a better time for me. I learned that my answers (as usual) to the issues that I face in my own marriage are found directly in the scriptures. We have been given a list of great LDS appropriate marriage resources that I will also include at the bottom of my blog post for this week. Although fidelity was also discussed in this particular lesson, I felt particularly drawn to the information on stewardship. It is more than just making sure that you have time for one another in order to procreate and have a family. There are so many God-ordained aspects to our sexual stewardship in marriage and I am in awe of the beauty of it all!