Power, Councils, and Unity in Families

 

Righteous Power in Parenthood:

I was so thrilled to read Richard B. Miller’s article titled, Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families, this week. He begins by assuring parents that they are indeed the leaders of the family and should take on that role. In today’s world I see so much of the “tail wagging the dog” that it concerns me a great deal that parental responsibility is being shirked and overlooked simply by virtue of the fact that society has frowned upon telling kids, “no.” Miller points out that parents are the “executive committee and the board of directors” in the family unit. Children have roles as well, but parents are the CEOs. President Kimball once said that “Discipline is probably one of the most important elements in which a mother and father can lead and guide and direct their children…”  Joseph F. Smith warned against not checking our children in a wayward course. Joe J. Christensen added that kids are in desperate need of some good old “Vitamin N.” The N consists of a simple two-letter word that seems to be missing in kids’ worlds today. It is the power of the word “NO” that will nourish our children.

I really don’t like telling my kids no either. But I am aware that by omitting this word from my own vocabulary, I lead them to the idea that the world will always tell them “yes” when they want something and that I am not the parent in our relationship. Our Heavenly Father does not always tell us “yes,” so why should we parent any differently? “NO” can be a healthy alternative to spoiling a child and leaving that child with the false notion that the world revolves around him or her. I have already had my kids thank me for sometimes saying “NO” to them. They finally  have learned to appreciate my love and parental direction.

Family Councils:

In his book, Counselling with Our Councils, Elder M. Russell Ballard outlines the process and the effectiveness of councils within the family unit. I read this book in one of my past classes and quite enjoyed learning about how the church leaders counsel one another. Our family councils have always been designed in much the same manner. We open with a prayer, we have an agenda, we discuss the items on the agenda while listening to each family member’s ideas and concerns, and we try to come to a decision based on loving, caring, and Christ-like discussions. Ours doesn’t always work out as well and as smoothly as the councils that the Quorum of the Twelve manage to have. However, by patterning our family meetings after theirs, we bring the Holy Spirit into our home and have much more effective family councils as a result.

 

That We May Be One:

In May of 1988. Elder Henry B. Eyring gave a wonderful talk titled, That We May Be One, in which he addresses the necessity of unity in marriage. He said that “The Savior of the world spoke of that unity and how we will have our natures changed to make it possible.” Sometimes I think that it would take an act of nature to promote unity in my home. Sometimes it seems impossible to attain. However, Elder Eyring has promised us that if we are one in Christ, we shall be one in our marriages. Our entire purpose in having families is to unite our families, husbands, wives, children, grandchildren, and ancestors.

One of the best ways to ensure unity in a family is to invite the Holy Ghost to sanctify our marriages from the start. Elder Eyring said that “Where people have that Spirit with them, we may expect harmony.” So, the key to unity and harmony in the home is to invite the Holy Spirit into our homes and our hearts each and every day. We must do this through prayer and a conscious effort to be peacemakers in the home. I know that my husband and I want nothing more than to have the Holy Spirit in our home as a permanent fixture. We both grew up in large families where there was much contention and yelling. So, it has always been our goal to rid our home of these tendencies and invite the Holy Spirit in every way that we can. It is not always easy, but it has provided our kids with a peaceful home and hopefully some good habits to take with them when they establish their own homes someday. He is truly our guide, our friend, and our comforter.